Juan is a bad person, says Obi

Well as of many of you don't know or care, I do have a little of a debt -well a lot - at least I been thinking like is nothing, ever since we move down here I messed things up for the worst instead of the better...........

I did found a job after only being here a month back in 2003, it wasn't much but at least that took care of the few first months, we sleep on the floor for a while in the apartment and that's when I started to messing things away. I wanted to provide for Lydia buy my first pay when up in smoke as my memory does not serve me well in to remember in what we used it for, but somehow I ended up getting a few credit cards and that's my recurrent problem...

I owed them as well as I owe some family members and a few good friends that may at this moment no longer consider me one (at least a good one to remember),I bought some essentials since my heart ached with having the love of my life sleeping in the floor I bought a bed a good-one and a mattress and furniture, a laptop and a few other things, still wasn't much since we did not have a sofa or a diner table, those came as a handmedowns used stuff from some friends....

But the payments were high and my check was slim and I did not say no in order to provide but didn't say yes to the credit cards payment notifications either...

In combination for my lack of job stability I did a BAD move when left Assurant for Bankston Chrysler Jeep Dodge in Frisco, the store was TOO far away the gas and the tollway eat up any excess money and for the most part instead of making more money I did less and that resulted in me converting into a Car Salesman, which is not a bad job if you see it from the inside and yes with a lot a possibilities, but I'm weak, yes so weak that I couldn't sale more than 10 cars a month no matter how hard I tried, It wasn't my field, but I took me a lot to understand that been a salesperson takes more selfishness than selfconciense and I in my believes was converting into a crook and I wasn't doing what I like, as my good boss Mr. Krause used to say 'have fun' I just couldn't have peace or fun thinking in my debts in Lydia's spending all that time by herself and me being so selfish by just spending the very limited free time that I have in things that I like, instead of hers....

Well I left Trophy Nissan and I'm back at what it looks a good job with my former Employer AutoNation, money is less than all the possibilities I could have at Trophy Nissan but at least is a steady paycheck if I committed for a year into something I wasn't by living in a per commission income struggling with frustation and NO INCOME, why will it be hard to go back to an hourly base type of job and just administrate my self better and pay my dues ALL MY DUES to the banks to my friends and above all to my family

I don't want to say names but rest assure I remember all of my debts and I will take care of all of them this year, I'm tired of living like this frustrated paying high interests and above all missing the point of giving Lydia a good place to be. That is and should be the ONLY thing in my mind....

As one of my favorite writers quoted "Your missing the way (and your goals) by spending too much time looking at the road"
Obi